Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am available for nakedness
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
