i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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