I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
