Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
