YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
