almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
