if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
