Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
