Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
