Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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