am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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