So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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