we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
