it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
