am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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