He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
