Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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