Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
