As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
