This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
