FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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