I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
