I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
