I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
