Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize