I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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