I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
