i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't turn off my feet"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
