So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
