no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
