So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize