He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it glows. i had to have it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
