Having a random hookup so left but love u
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
