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• (954): View more from Florida

  you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

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• (713): View more from Texas

  you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

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• (707): View more from California

  People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD

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• (585): View more from New York

  Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled

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