i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
