you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
