I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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