So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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