the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize