that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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