I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
