Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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