im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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