It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
