I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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