you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
