Ambien. No doubt about it.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize