i would punch a child for taco bell
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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