Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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