She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
