recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
