his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize