there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize