Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
