Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
