plz talk dirty to me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
