Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
