no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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