Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
