Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
