dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
