where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
