spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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