Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
