i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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