The maid of honor just puked.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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