Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
