Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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