he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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