plz talk dirty to me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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