if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
