think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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